Your Pace of Intimacy is Valid

“I usually need to have sex within (X) amount of time, but I like you so I’m willing to wait [sometimes followed by] but only until (x) amount of time”

“Sexual chemistry is very important to me, that’s how I connect so if you don’t want to have sex, I can’t keep dating you”

How many times have you heard those lines from Men? Men who you thought were on the same page as you, men who you were attracted to? Did you cut them loose after they told you something like that? I sure hope you did!

These are ultimatums, either you give him what he wants, or he cannot continue seeing you. If this was stated initially, upon the first date, then I wouldn’t have any qualms with it, because if that’s what both partners wanted then great! and if it wasn’t, you can easily part ways and look for partners who suit your needs better.  I’m talking about the dude that seemed like he was respectful of your boundaries at first, then hits you with the ultimatum.

Before anyone can say “Devils Advocate” I recognize that these man boys may not ever comprehend the pressure and stress they are putting onto their partner. Guess what? Try explaining that to them, you will be met with a blank stare and a reiteration of why their needs are more important than yours!


Many more thoughts to come! Stay tuned for part 2!


Your pace of intimacy is valid!


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